An Unexpected Feeling – Connecticut

I would have never anticipated the feelings I did when I visited the University of Bridgeport to interview for their residency program. I have dreamt about being a resident at SCNM for four long years and my vision was shaken up the day I visited Connecticut. I was faced with a very difficult decision after that interview -which school to rank as my number one and number two and I had a much more difficult time with this process than I had ever anticipated. The reason I decided to post about this is to share one of the biggest lessons I am now experiencing and a lesson that will inevitably guide me throughout my trip: Plans are never concrete. There is ALWAYS the possibility they can change!

The hard part of that lesson for me is that I am innately a planner!  Adrienne, one of my best friends and study partner, and I would get together just to plan a future plan! We loved this. We needed this. We thrived off of planning. But life isn’t lived by the plans you make and I knew this was a lesson I was inevitably going to learn over and over again on my trip. I just didn’t expect it to hit so hard and so soon!

After talking to dozens of people, making numerous pros and cons list, continuosly going back and forth trying to find clairty of which program will be the best one for my growth as a doctor, I decided to rank Bridgeport as my number one and leave it to fate to make my decision. Well, I just heard back that I was matched with University of Bridgeport and will now be their new resident. I am honored that they chose me and have to believe that this is really what was meant to be.

I am excited but I am also scared and most of all right now I am sad knowing I will be leaving my SCNM community for the next year. For those who are reading this that are part of my SCNM family, I want you all to know that the two hardest parts of making this decision was the thought that I could potentially be leaving my SCNM family as well as the excellent homeopathic education we are privileged to get. The idea of not being present on a Dr. Messer shift, not seeing Adrienne on a day to day basis, not getting the chance to giggle face to face with Betsy, to not play like a kid with Heath, to not see my dear friend Korah’s new baby, to not walk by the registrar's office for that great big hug, to not join the team of stellar students that have been asked to do the SCNM residency, and to miss out on all of the meaningful relationships I have built with so many of you truly saddens my heart. Gosh, this was the hardest decision I have yet had to face in my life thus far.

I am grateful to my family, friends and teachers who helped me find clairty with this decision and who have supported me along the way of making a decision. I already miss my SCNM family so very much and will continue to miss you all each and everyday I am away. PLEASE keep in touch as I promise to do my part too. There are SO many special people out there that I am just not ready to let go of. I am hopeful that if I am meant to return to AZ I will be back! For now, I surrender to those future plans and just leave it up to faith if it is meant to be it will be!

So, I guess this means I am off to Connecticut after my travels. Another crazy adventure ahead for Elana!